The Terrors Of Being A Chief-Bridesmaid!

I AND MY BESTIE,  THE FORMER MISS TOBI ADEGBITE, NOW MRS IBRAHIM.  LOL

I didn't know, I had it made in heaven as a bridesmaid, until I had the dubious honor  of been a chief-bridesmaids. (tears).

Did you know that as a chief-bridesmaid, you have the sole duty to be the target of pent-up frustration of relatives, friends (married or single, dealing with man issues or just been menopausal), calm bridal jitters, tantrums, sooth injured feathers of relatives, smooth over all last minute hitches and ensure the bride and groom, are actually present and have a lovely memorable time, on their wedding day?

Excluding the fact, that you have to cram all the positions, stance and angles, taught to you at the wedding rehearsal, by the sadists, masquerading as teachers, priests, or any of the various pious title, they choose to hide under. Failure to remember, which angle to hold the wedding booklet or when to kneel/stand/sit (reminds me of puppets and puppeteers) or God forbid, where to stand, can mean only two things.

1.You are single and obviously are, unconsciously jealous/envious and don’t want your best friend to get married, so therefore, you want to sabotage her wedding.

2. You are married and obviously unhappy, with her choice of mate and want to unconsciously sabotage her wedding.

MRS AND MRS IBRAHIM....... AWWW...AIN'T THEY SUPER CUTE. 

Either way, it is a big no-no, to forget any of the nuances, stances and angles of being a chief-bridesmaid. One of the consequence  of forgetfulness, is to suddenly find yourself, the cynosure of all evil, rude, dirty and crude thoughts, from both sides of the happy congregation. You find yourself the target of, vengeful, malicious, thoughts and gossips by mutual friends, who feel that ‘they’ should have been the chief-bridesmaid in your stead, as they are obviously the better friend , as shown by your shameful tardiness.  lol

If only I knew, I would have run for the hills, when called upon to fulfill  the ultimate girl code that must, never be broken by best friends.  But alas, like an innocent lamb, I was lead to the slaughter  alter.  Sadly, I forgot where to stand, the angle to hold the booklet and most of the rules(FYI: I fell down the stairs...tears). Yes! I felt the chilly wind of disapproval, unholy thoughts (woa! Cold!)and heard some mildly wicked opinions and suggestions, but I suffered held on gamely, for the love of my best friend.

It was well worth it, at the end to see my bestie with her soul mate, made legally and spiritually one forever! Bound in love for all eternity........awww (sniffs) BUT... I would not repeat, the experience for all the money (I might reconsider, if you catch me when am broke)and love in the world.  The responsibility, pressure and tension, almost take out all the fun in the wedding.

So, to all my remaining single Best Friends For Life, this is a public notice to you all, that I decline the honour respectfully (No violence please), I would rather get married first!

To my future Chief-bridesmaid, I promise to make up for the grief, in your nearest future, by ensuring your dress, is couture and you have lots of chocolate handy, so you can suffer in style.

BTW: DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED, TO WEAR CERTAIN MAKEUP OR EYELASH EXTENTIONS AS A CHIEF-BRIDESMAID?  LOL

Till the next post...

Millare

Muah.