BRIDESMAID PALAVER

BRIDESMAID DARIES

By Millicent Arebun.

Most times, I almost wish, my friends weren't ever going to get married! ..shocked? Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends to pieces, and would want nothing short of complete happiness for them but there is  one solemn duty of a friend, that I find,  am growing to hate which is, the bridesmaid maid duty .

We all know, that 'the girls code', is rift with lots of irrational rules, regulations, laws and no-nos that, won’t make a lick of sense to any rational male but would make utter sense, to us complex females (for instance:  Never,ever, date my ex, even if am in love with someone else, whom am married to and have babies with).

Normally, am a champion of the girls code until I grew up and got yoked ,into adhering to ‘be the bridesmaid’ code one time too many times. If you are a girl out there reading this post, am sure you already see the picture

I am yet undecided, if the singular worse thing about being a bridesmaid, is the dress, or the spectacle of being on display, the cynosure of all eyes. The lewd ones, from the single and corrupt married men present; speculative looks, from prospective wife searcher, comprising of weary mothers, cousins or siblings, trying to bring a wayward son or relative home to the rooster, by finding a wife for him or the venomous looks, of the unhappy, unsexy or ‘sharp’ young wife, whose husband eyes tend to wander.

Bridesmaids: Brenda Ukey, Bibi Okosun,Tina Nwonye, Millare and Chiamaka George. 

One would think, a friend getting married, should be a thing of joy, but nowadays, it’s a source of worry. I almost cringe, whenever, I get the inevitable excited phone call, from a female friend, giving me the now dreaded news, ‘AM GETTING MARRIED’,  fatalistically I wait for the next sentence , which is usually ‘AND YOU MUST BE MY BRIDEMAID’ . My first thought is almost always ‘OMG! HOW MUCH WILL THIS, SET MY BUDGET BACK FOR THE MONTH’.  I think it’s perverse, the joy,  most brides take, in forcing their friends to pay through their nose, for a dress that they won’t ever wear again in this lifetime. Worst of all, if you are agile enough to wiggle out of bridesmaid duty, you will definitely be caught in their fail safe net, which is the dreaded one ‘ASOABI’.

Tina Nwonye. I absolutely am gaga for her shoes,
 purse and hair style. Muah! 

In this frame of mind, was I called upon to be bridesmaid again, and with a longsuffering sigh, I valiantly signed on. To my surprise, it was, one of the first time, I almost enjoyed, been a bridesmaid. The simply reason, been, that the bride, wasn’t trying to dumb her bridesmaids beauty down, by having hideous dresses sewn for them.

Brenda Ukey and I.

 Of course, there was the usual horrid pawing/leering by deadbeat guys, that feels once you are a bridesmaid, you are secretly craving for a halfass guy, to whisk you always on his battered horse but alas, they are everywhere, not just weddings.  Below are pictures.

Stay tuned for the amazing wedding journal of my travel to the Eastern part of Nigerian (Anambra Nnewi ) for a friend wedding/carnival.

Muah!

Oh! the HORROR! This is just Cruel! Am sure the gals havn't yet recovered from the style shock!

Mi Likey! Their are very few confident females who will ever allow their bridesmaids to wear long dresses that look good on their wedding day. Kudos.

I love the shoes!